I see how selfishness ruins a human, how it makes you ugly, how it makes you monstrous.
It twists your face, it distorts your mind, it kills you.
And the way it kills you...kills me.

Having such an overwhelming desire to tell you the truth,
I don't think I need to hide anymore.
I will do what I want to do, I will say what I want to say.
It's what you are always doing and what I am always forbidden to do.
Too tired to maintain this relationship.

Recently I love to observe the way eyes show people's emotions.
Since we cannot control our pupils, they don't deceive. 
They show true emotions, that's why I like eyes, the window to our soul.
Our eyes are different when we look at people whom we romantically interested in.
The pupils dilate, eyes become wider, and the expression is softer.
You know what? I see beauty in it. I am totally in love with it.
And if I discover anyone who looks at me this way, I'd be happy.  

Orientation Camp/Day/Whatever was absolutely a good chance to release some of my endless maternity.
You know, it was so full as if it was going to pour out.
Seriously I love being a Joma, I love to take care of people even if I am so not good at it
It feels so good to be a mother. 

I remembered what Grandma said during the family gathering,
she said "We all USED to be innocent."
I couldn't help but nodding, it was so true.
Afterall, we all tell lies, we all hold back from each other,
we don't love to share.
Why are people nowadays always dishonest?

Oh one exception, he is Nathaniel, coz he said I look prettier than before lol. 

The changes I undergo this year is unexpectedly great.
The changes are so obvious that I can feel myself is nothing like myself in the past.
Some in a good way, some bad.
But I am happy with what I am.

I am now a year 2 student.
don't have much time to waste.
My goal is to grab every chance, regret is not allowed in my life.

"Best friend" is more like a feeling than a position to me.
She is your best friend because you want to share every trifle with her, not you share every trifle with her because she is your best friend. 
Why pretend that we are when we are not?

Somehow I think I am still looking for the field that I really interested in. That's why I am learning everything now, to find the one that I can really study for my whole life. Plato said, "Knowledge is the food of the soul." This sounds true to me, and seriously I find myself enjoy studying, because I know very well that all these knowledges will make me a sophisticated, informative and unique person. I want to be different. But I don't go for perfection, I want to be nearly perfect.

God sent me the best gift---Left-handedness. At the same time, God gave me a life-time punishment---migraine headache.

How did I go through all of these? I ask myself this question everytime I see my jongmates. Most of the jongmates were not the friends that I usually played with. I used to feel uncomfortable being with them. I didn't even dare to talk to Sherielyn (and Viggo haha). I thought of quitting the cabinet and actually I told them that I would quit the cabinet. And I cried in front of them. All of them. I was reproached by many just because I joined the cabinet. But right after my tears fell off from my eyes, I started to think again. Things were not that bad. I might handle it. And I actually did. I went through all of the events with my jongmates without a word of complain. Okay I might have complained only for a word or two. But the fact is, I am working with them, my jongmates, without feeling sad or reluctant. I am actually happy to be with them, they are like my family. They are just so adorable and helpful and warm and supportive. (Despite the fact that S is always disconnected, E is always late and V always leaves early.) It sounds lame but all I wanna say is "Je t'aime, my jongmates." :-)

涙。

不想看到重要的人流眼淚。
會心痛。

曾經也玩過鬥快流眼淚的遊戲，
原因是要不讓他知道我是真的哭了。

明明是左撇子，
明明是喜歡畫畫和音樂。

但是卻主修語文系。

到底是左腦還是右腦？

ドラマ令夏天變得更充實。^0^/

Current Music : None
Current Mood : messed up

Lady S, who is in her early 20s, had a great birthday with her family and friends celebrating the twentieth 24th June in her life. Wonderful as it seemed, the birthday girl knew that she has lost something which was important to her but no more. A grown-up should know how to let go and she is learning. 

Speaking of, I really want to thank all of you for your blessings. I appreciate them. Though I never remember my friends' birthday and seldom say "Happy Birthday" to anyone, your "Happy Birthday" was so delightful to me and frankly speaking I had no idea how delightful it was until I got one myself. Besides, I had a great day with my secondary schoolmates at what we called "Family Gathering", it really looked like one because we were like family, as we always do. That "Black out" really surprised me. And thank you very much for the "Devil Cake", it is totally made for me. Love it. <3

Watch out, dudes.
I'm gonna read your mind like an open book. Haha.

Gosh. I need alcohol! 

Played with the webcam.

Current Music : 蘇打綠 - 早點回家
Current Mood : i-shouldnt-have-checked-my-GPA

依啊, GPA雖然公佈了,
其實也不是影響那麼大, 因為已預計到了。
you get what you sowed. 

好像生活上有許多感受,
想記下來的時候, 卻又想不起來。

前陣子不知是誰post了容祖兒<<沙堡壘>>的歌詞,
我也很喜歡呢, 那首歌,
曾經唱著唱著就哭了。

真是一點都不簡單,生命,
有太多在意的事物, 太多欲望,
在頭頂蓋上了烏雲, 能否抱著人本來就一無所有的心態?
本來就沒有錢, 本來就沒有朋友, 本來就沒有認識你,
本來就只有我自己, 這樣就不會在意了。

我們都明白自己只是從對方身上找到慰藉,
只是沒有說出來罷了。

嗯...還是輕鬆一點比較好。:3

接下來呢,
想做一下行為實驗,
例如晚上不開電腦, 只看書, 類似的。
給生活一點小改變。

変わったなぁ、あたし。